Last night I had my first wedding-related breakdown. I was talking with Fiance about the fact that to get married at one location is seven times more expensive than to get married at another location. I’m torn, because the more expensive church is beautiful and I’ve always pictured my wedding taking place there. But the other church would also be nice, and some of the logistics would be simpler.
My mom told me that I shouldn’t worry about the money, because they can take care of it, and I know that’s true. But I want to be wise with what I’ve been given (especially since it’s not my money), and I know that what’s really important is the marriage, not the wedding.
I had a poll up here for a little bit, but because most of you don’t know the exact circumstances, it’s probably most helpful if you just leave a comment telling me what you think.
I guess what I’m most wondering is if, in five months or five years, I’ll really care where I got married.
More info: The comments so far have been great, and I wanted to provide a little more info. I’m not incredibly emotionally attached to either church. One church is where I attended in middle school and high school when my family moved to the state, but they built a new church about a year ago (after I had started going to another church), so the building itself doesn’t have any special meaning to me. I’ve attended my new church for about 2.5 years.
As far as style of weddings, we would have a little bit more flexibility at one than the other, but for the most part, the services would be exactly the same. We’re definitely having our reception at the less expensive church, so if we had our wedding there, it would be convenient for our guests, but a little crazy for the people moving the chairs and setting up food.
December 5, 2008 at 3:15 pm
I just want to affirm your quote: “what’s really important is the marriage, not the wedding.” Other than that, I hesitate to say too much, since I don’t know the churches, or your style, or anything else about it! Good luck with it, though!
December 5, 2008 at 4:32 pm
i REALLY wanted to get married at Otey Parish in Sewanee, but that didn’t work out considering: 1, you are required to be a member to get married there and 2, you must have an Episcopalian service. my second choice was Guerry Garth on campus but the thought of having an outdoor ceremony scared me way too much. so, we got married in our home church. looking back on it not it really did mean a lot since i have been there since i was an infant and that is basically how corey and i met, but i can still say i wish i had sought out somewhere that was more beautiful.
if your parents are willing to help you pay for the location where you really want to get married, then i would let them. while the marriage is most important, the wedding is what you will always remember it by.
December 7, 2008 at 5:34 pm
You can make any space beautiful and special. My sister did a wonderful job of creating a warm, worshipful atmosphere in our church sanctuary. I opted for an old church on state park property that didn’t need much decorating other than removing some excess furniture.
Just make sure you check out certain rules/regulations like if you can use candles (I couldn’t) or when you’ll be able to start decorating or how much cleaning you’ll be expected to provide afterwards.